Did you want mayo with that spam?

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, been very busy with work as well as the outdoors.

As I get many emails for work, I try to spice up my email sessions by replying to scam and spam mails. What? You'll ask if I'm crazy, it only generates more mails. Yes it probably does, but the delete button is my friend. It's no big deal.
I wanted so share some of my replies here.  I haven't received any replies back so far. Darn. Some people can't take a joke I guess :)


First mail:

"Compliments of the day to you,
May the blessing of God be upon you and grant you the wisdom and sympathy to understand my situation and how much I need your help."

.. she then goes on to say how her dad passed away and left her 4.5 million dollars. She needs my help transferring it to a different account and of course, I am promised a nice cut.

My reply:

Hi there,

Thanks for thinking of me, but in fact, I am quite well-to-do and wouldn't know what to do with the money. I have so much already it's falling out of my pockets when I walk down the street. If I were you though, I'd remove God's blessing from that mail, it really does not befit a scam mail. I wouldn't want to be you, standing in front of those pearly gates some day and having to explain why I dragged God into a scam mail. 

Have a wonderful day!

Second mail:

Title: No more dreams about Rolex. Get it for as low as $ 250!. Wow! 

Content: No other shop offers that low prices for copies of branded watches.. Copies of Swiss watches are offered here for less than 300 dollars.

My reply:

Hey thanks for the mail, not sure who sold you my email, but that's unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

I don't think that mail was meant for me anyways, because I never dream about Rolex. If I do, I don't remember it. I don't have a watch, I'm allergic to metals and it just gives me a rash. Maybe send the mail to someone else? If I had 300 dollars I'd just blow it at the casino.

Have a great day and watch whom you mail - pun intended.

3rd email:

Title: Our on-line pharmacy is the right place to shop

Content: A whole list of viagra and the likes along with the prices.

My reply:

Do you sell aspirin? I don't need or want any. Just asking...

4th mail:

I didn't reply to this, but it is funny. From a spam mail:

If u are seller pls don't contact me, if u don't buy from me pls don't contact me . 

I very hate do spam or rip and i don't want who spam me..