Tuesday

Dear Beloved

Dear Beloved,

I am the General Manager in our bank. I have the opportunity of transferring the sum of $7.500.000 (Seven million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) to one of our bank Customer who passed away in the year 27nd february of 2006.
My request for you to stand as next of kin in this business is because the fact that the customer is a foreigner. I want to propose that 40% of this fund gos to you and 60% for me. As soon as you answer, I will give more details of this transaction. Please know that this is a secret.

Thanks,
Raja Island


Hi Raja,
You have emailed this to the Spam and Scam Hotline Helpdesk (SSHH). Surely this was sent in error.
Thanks
William
SSHH Support Team


Dear William,
Thank you for reply. Please be so kind to send your phone number, bank account number and credit card number and we can start this transaction.
I am eager and impatient waiting for your email.
Thanks,
Raja Island


Hi Raja,
By the looks of it, you didn't read my mail too carefully. I am here to protect people against scammers like you.
Let me give you a few pieces of advice:
1) Brush up your English, it's terrible.
2) Choose your email addresses more carefully.
3) Make up a more unique story because the bank transfer horse has been beaten to death.
4) Get a real job.
Thanks.
William
SSHH Support Team


Dear William,
Thanks again for reply. I not understand the horse, I work in a bank, not a barn.
Please kindly send me your bank account and credit card number as well as your phone number. The funds will be disappear if we don't act soon.
We can do 50% for me and 50% for you if that is better.
Thanks
Raja Island


Hi Raja,
Let me spell this out for you.
You have emailed SSHH. We try and trace scammers. We help victims of scammers get back on their feet, we provide a wealth of information, educating people on how to prevent falling victim of scams. Sending us, of all people,  a scam mail is like walking through an open field in a severe thunderstorm while holding a golf club high up in the air.
You're looking for trouble. A request has already been sent to your email service to have your email closed. If you want more, keep replying.
Thanks
William
SSHH Support Team


Dear William,
Many thanks for reply. I don't play golf but thanks for offering, you are very nice person.
Sorry I waited so long for replying to you, my email stopped working and I had to set up a new one. Please send me your information, we need to start this transaction soon. If you not interested, you know someone else who is interested?
Thanks
Raja Island


Hi Raja,
Yes I know someone who is interested, thank you for asking. He is a police officer and a very nice guy. Don't hold what he does for a living against him, he's cool. You will find his phone number in the attachment, please tell him I sent you and give him my kindest regards. Don't forget to tell him where you live, he likes to discuss transactions of this nature in person :)
He says he only wants 10% of the funds and you get to keep 90%
William
SSHH Support Team


* Disclaimer: Please note that it is not my intention to make fun of people who don't speak English well (As a matter of fact, English is not my first language), but I have yet to receive one scam mail in my inbox that is written in perfect English, hence the joking about the language.

4 comments:

  1. This was excellent for a great laugh!

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  2. You really made me laugh to the point I had tears in my eyes, thanks mate!

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  3. Meandu and Martin, thanks for the comments.
    I actually do work at a help desk and get plenty of those scam mails in a day. Instead of just closing those, I should link them to this blog post :)

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  4. Hahaha I now read all the scam mails in my spam folder with laughter! Brilliant post Sundance :)

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